Confession #3: Fearful Moment

As a child, until about to the age of four, I always had a problem with leaving my mother. This is somewhat ironic now due to the fact I rarely speak to her anymore. Anyways, for some reason i thought that whenever she left me, she would leave by jumping out of the window with a suitcase full of all she needed. This became somewhat of a problem and I even had to see a therapist about it. So whenever my mom would drop me off at daycare I would proceed, like many other of my young peers, to throw a fit. I would scream and cry and yell for her to come back but she never did until hours later. I remember one day in particular where, as I was going about my normal routine, I began to have an asthma attack. As a young child I had a very severe case of asthma. At that moment I could not breath. I remember lying on the ground looking up at the ceiling and it was spinning. People were saying things around me and to me but I could not understand any of it. I was hyperventilating. This seemed like it went on for hours. The feeling of not being able to catch my breath was so terrifying at that time. Although it was a long time ago the memory still seems so clear to me. Everything was just getting smaller and smaller. Perhaps this was the first moment where I experienced the element of danger that I had no control over. Eventually my mom came and I was calmed down. I do not remember ever having to go to daycare after that.